His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
