sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize