the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
