idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
