My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
