I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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