ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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