omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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