you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
