As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
