I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
