I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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