sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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