hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
