Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I know her cup size but not her name....
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