shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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