physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
