White coat. Heels.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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