jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
