i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
