i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
