I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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