i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
