I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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