His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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