i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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