they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
