Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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