This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize