it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
