just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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