Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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