My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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