If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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