Pappa wants mamma naked
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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