Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
