Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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