Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
