I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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