If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
