I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
