i jhust puked up my retainher.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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