dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
