win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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