Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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