i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
