I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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