Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
