I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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