I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
