I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
