It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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