You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
